


And He Burned

by cptnrex



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Dark Romance, Death, F/M, First Love, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-12-26 09:17:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18280214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cptnrex/pseuds/cptnrex
Summary: The war is over, and the galaxy is engulfed in the fires of the Sith. Rex searches for Anakin, and finds him burning. If love is surrender, then there's still a battle Rex must fight.





	1. Sought.

“Rex.”

Blue light ignited from the hilt of Obi-Wan’s lightsaber, a low buzz emitted as the air around the weapon became hot. He didn’t have time for this. With the senator and C-3PO already on the ship and Captain Typho having left, the platform was clear, and they could be taking off at any moment. With them would go his last option at finding Anakin if he didn’t quickly secure a place to stow away in. She would lead him to his former Padawan, whether aware of it or not. That was the choice that had to be made. It didn't feel as clear a one as Obi-Wan would have liked, but nothing about this was easy.

He didn’t have time to wonder whether or not this clone was Rex, his comrade, or Rex, the Empire’s soldier.

“General Kenobi…sir.” 

Obi-Wan edged backwards up the ramp, toe to heel, as mindful of the motion as he was of Rex's breathlessness. Odd, he didn’t sense any mindless, murderous intent from the clone standing in front of him, a meter or two from the foot of the star skiff. His eyes narrowed warily, lips turned downward. _And yet_ , he thought, _Commander Cody had still aimed his fire at me_. The blue lightsaber hummed quietly as he carefully adjusted his grip, blade moving from one side to the other in a measured sweeping action. The clone soldier took several small, hesitant steps forward. Was he brave, foolish, or malicious?

He took a moment to regard him as the sweeping wind from passing speeders tousled the hairs over his forehead. Rex looked bad, to put it mildly. His usually white and blue armor was covered in soot, as if before this, he had been stuck in the middle of a great fire. Some of the armor pieces were scorched in several areas. The arms and chest had dark, black splotches burned into them. Thin wisps of smoke curled upwards from the jet-pack on his back. Obi-Wan guessed that’s how he had made it onto the platform. In one hand, Rex held his helmet, smeared with grime. His other hand went for one of the blasters in his holsters.

Obi-Wan tensed, fingers tightening around his lightsaber as he widened his stance. He willed his face to become impassive. _This is it_ , his mind said as he waited for the clone to fire the first shot, dread hardening his expression, _another friend that will die on this most wretched day_. Oh, Force…

The Jedi stared as Rex lifted the blaster out of its holster like the weapon was an active explosive. It was strange-looking enough that Obi-Wan took a breath, hoping the air would steady him. It did, but not by much. If Rex was planning to fire at him, he certainly was taking his time. The Captain wasn't known for a slow draw. Obi-Wan watched as Rex slid it out of the leather, then, with such startling intensity that the Jedi blinked, threw it to the ground. It skid across the steel surface. The other followed a moment later, skidding till it stopped alongside the first blaster at the bottom of the ramp. Rex breathed out heavily, as if the action had taken his last reserves of will-power. Only the busy sounds of the city around them prevailed.

Though that singular action had such an obvious intent, what made Obi-Wan finally disengage his lightsaber was the expression on the Captain’s helmet-less face, a face he had thought he had seen every emotion come across through that of millions of other clones till this moment.

Suffering.

It was something so raw that it emanated off of the clone and rippled through the Force into Obi-Wan’s senses. Visions threatened to come into his head, but the Jedi blocked them from his mind's view with a hard set of his bearded jaw. He couldn’t take this in. He couldn’t add to the grief that already filled his chest and left his throat so constricted. Still, with or without his connection to the Force, Rex’s loss was palpable and tasted foul in his mouth. Obi-Wan swallowed it back down. He could only compare it to what he already knew in his heart had happened. Worse, he could compare it to what he had seen with his own eyes.

With a _zzt_ , the blue of the lightsaber disappeared.

“Oh, Rex…” Obi-Wan murmured.

Rex’s lips were in a thin, tight line, as if that single action held all of the emotions that Obi-Wan could sense building inside of him at bay. His tanned face was covered in sweat, and he dragged the back of a dirty, gloved hand across his forehead, painting his brown skin and buzzed blonde hairs with a coat of black powder.

 _Much like war paint_ , Obi-Wan mused inwardly. Rex's helmet remained clenched by his side like someone lost looking to familiarity to ground them. Obi-Wan could barely feel the ramp beneath his boots. The clone cleared his throat with a wet sound.

“Sir—”

The deep rumble and then high-pitched tone of a ship’s engine coming to life quickly reminded Obi-Wan of both the haste and severity of his mission at hand. Too many difficult decisions. He could use Master Yoda's wisdom at a time like this.

Anakin. It was for him that they were both there, was it not?

Obi-Wan turned his head, glancing over his shoulder and into the ship, then back down at Rex, who had taken another half-step forward, eyes straining against emotion the sharp, hot rush of wind from the engines that blew over across the pad. Rex clearly wasn't planning to stay there, but ever the good soldier, his limbs seemed to fight with his duty. He was awaiting orders.

There was no time to discuss what had happened, not anymore. _By the force_ , Obi-Wan found himself thinking in exasperation, all things were happening at once, and he—they, for Captain Rex had now become a forced part of his plan—needed to move fast. After reaching behind and jerking his hood over his head, he tucked his hands into opposite sleeves, motioning to the ship with a curt tilt of his head.

“Come. We haven’t much time, Captain.”

The fire had only just begun to burn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments & questions appreciated.


	2. Numbing.

With a wave of his hand, Obi-Wan used the Force to slide the door to the closet-like space shut. It was a bit of a tight fit with both he and Rex crammed inside, and it took a moment of somewhat clumsy adjustment on the clone’s part before he too was seated, grunting as he settled. Once more, there was silence. Distantly, Obi-Wan could hear C-3PO speaking.

“I think I’m beginning to get the hang of this flying business…”

Padmé’s feelings seemed to permeate the air of the ship, but what caught Obi-Wan’s attention the most were how similar they were to the Captain’s. Both were on Anakin, and both he felt carrying the weight of worry, the same kind. Shouldn’t there be a difference between a wife’s love and a soldier’s devotion? Perhaps not. Yet, Obi-Wan found his thoughts lingering on the subject as the minutes passed by. Some part of him always knew of Anakin's dangerous attachment to the senator, but he would have never guessed his former Padawan to have been so misguided to go so far as to marry her.

 _Yes, wife_ , the Jedi contemplated. A wife and a mother. Anakin, a husband and father. Hadn't he taught him better than this? It made the betrayal all the more painful, and Obi-Wan closed his eyes in an attempt to meditate the emotion away as the star skiff sped through space. Only he, Master Yoda, Padmé, and the Force itself knew of what Anakin had done. He wondered if Rex would still feel that same devotion if he had seen what Obi-Wan had. The images from the security hologram seemed to have burned themselves into his memory, and no matter how he furrowed his brow, he could still see it as clearly as if it were again playing before him.

The younglings were so shocked that they simply stood there as Anakin cut the first child down. If Obi-Wan had thought the length of this war had numbed him against such atrocities, he was terribly wrong. Bile crept up his throat, and just like the anguish he was on the verge of being overtaken by, he swallowed it back down. The monstrosity of what Anakin had done made him ill. His former apprentice hadn’t stopped at the first youngling, nor the second, nor the third. Obi-Wan’s eyes squeezed together. _Oh, Force, I must remain calm_ …

How closely, and with a controlled desperation, Obi-Wan’s eyes had searched the blue form of Anakin for any sign of hesitation. He looked for a pause when Anakin swung his lightsaber down on a young human boy, or tears in the man’s eyes when he cut apart a Rodian girl mid-scream as she hurled her lightsaber at him in some futile, un-trained attempt at surviving.

Nothing. There was nothing but an instrument of the Sith before him. How much control did Palpatine have over him? How had the Dark Side managed to take such a hold that Anakin—his Padawan, Jedi Knight, the brave boy in a starfighter who saved Naboo, the young man whose heart was so large that he would never leave anyone behind, the brother that had saved his life—would choose to become this?

Obi-Wan knew the names of those younglings, and with a sickly turn of his stomach, his mind instantly recalled them against his will. Petro, Ganodi, and so many more. He and Anakin had passed them in the Jedi Temple many times, and Ahsoka had been the one to guide them when it was time that they build their lightsabers. Had Anakin known then that he was to be their end?

The thought of Ahsoka brought Obi-Wan back to the present, and he quickly opened his eyes, looking across at Rex.

The clone Captain was sitting with his knees slightly drawn up to his chest, arms stretched out over them. His helmet rested between his ankles. His gaze wasn’t forward. Instead, his head was turned down towards the floor of the closet, where dark brown eyes stared, unseeing. Obi-Wan, calling on what little patience he had left after these trying hours, waited. That one thought crept its way back into his head. How much longer would Rex remain devoted? Obi-Wan's eyes softened piteously. How much longer would that love remain untarnished? Padmé's had already been tainted with the darkness. Rex's was like a lone star out in a vast, navy sky.

Finally, after a moment or two, Rex blinked, and lifted his head to the Jedi. It was quickly hidden by a tired rub of his eyes with the base of a palm, but Obi-Wan had seen the shine of wetness in them.

Rex breathed out slowly. He tried to breathe in just as steadily, but the air caught in his throat. He fought for the breath before he found his words.

“Sir,” Rex began slowly, half-hoarse. Obi-Wan waited with a sense of trepidation for the Captain to ask his first question. Which would it be? About the war, about Anakin, or why they had stolen aboard a senator’s ship? The Jedi closed his eyes. He felt more tired than he had in his entire life, and nothing was over yet. “Where is he?”

Obi-Wan opened his eyes. What he thought he felt prepared for no longer existed, and the question hit him like slap.

Rex’s face was lined with tension and creased with dirt, seeming to Obi-Wan like he could pass out at any moment, but there was a resoluteness to his eyes that amazed the Jedi. The clone had trusted that Obi-Wan wouldn’t kill him, had trusted his intentions stowing away on this ship, and hadn’t questioned them once. Rex only wanted to know about Anakin, his general. He was fighting for his Jedi, tooth and nail.

 _We’re the same in this way_ , the Jedi thought. _We are both fighting for Anakin still_.

“That, my good Captain,” Obi-Wan went on to say wearily, “is a tale I am not yet ready to tell.” He could manage no lightness in his tone. He needed to resign himself to the nearing outcome. There would be no stars to join Rex's. Perhaps never again, without a new hope.

“Is he _alive_?” Rex pressed without a care for anything else, leaning forward. He sounded gruff now, making the words come out. “Did he make it through the order?”

“Oh, he’s alive,” Obi-Wan consented quietly. Rex slumped against the wall behind him with relief, tilting his head back. His gloved hands, which had been curled in tight fists on his knees, fell to rest atop his helmet, thumbs rubbing over the dirtied blue lines in reverence. Obi-Wan gave him this moment before continuing. _If only I too could feel your relief, Rex_. If only it was a good thing. “But, first, I must ask you some questions of my own.”

The Captain seem to brace himself. Deliberately, he straightened, pushing his shoulders back while his mouth set once more in its grim line. This was the face of a soldier preparing to leap into the hottest parts of the fire. Obi-Wan wondered how difficult it was for him. He didn't want to make it all any more dooming, but it was no longer time for niceties. As it had been with Padmé, he would have to say things he had never wanted to speak.

“Tell me what happened,” he ordered firmly. Rex’s brow furrowed slightly, and Obi-Wan could sense the grief overtaking the relief. _He’s a strong man, Rex_ , Obi-Wan thought, but it was far too easy to see that even Rex, seasoned soldier of the Clone Wars, was close to coming apart. Regardless, he had to press on, even when he could see the clone’s hands start to shake. “Tell me what happened on Mandalore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments & questions appreciated.


	3. Clarity.

“Mandalore…” Rex muttered, the planet’s name spoken so somberly that Obi-Wan’s nostrils flared against the onslaught of feelings that flowed into the Force around the clone. Tentatively, the Jedi explored them, letting his mind reach out as his blue eyes observed Rex.

Grief was the most potent. It coated the clone Captain much like the soot on his armor. Dark it was, unforgiving, and full of regret. It pained Obi-Wan to let the emotions in, both to experience them and see them play out on Rex’s features. The Captain seemed to have gotten lost in thought, or he was trying to gather those thoughts into something intelligible. Obi-Wan was certain it was both. _Loss has a way of confusing the mourner_ , the Jedi’s mind recalled.

His thoughts threatened to turn to Qui-Gon, only Qui-Gon’s face became Anakin’s.

Among the Captain’s grief and loss, there was something else. A sliver of light, of hope. From where, and why? The instant Obi-Wan sensed this, Rex cleared his throat, and sat a little straighter. Steely-eyed, but not looking directly at Obi-Wan, his dry lips parted.

“General Tano and the troops had managed victory over most of the planet. The fight was, ah, just about over.” Rex’s level tone was so quiet that Obi-Wan found himself leaning forward a tad, arms hidden within his sleeves tensing. Rex continued to stare fixedly at a space just above the Jedi’s head. The hands that still rested on the clone’s helmet continued to shake with small tremors. “That’s when…Maul arrived, sir.”

“Darth Maul,” Obi-Wan interrupted, in a voice far too out of breath for his liking.

Rex gave a short, jerking nod. “Ahsoka engaged Maul.” Another pause. Rex shut his eyes for a brief moment, pained and doing his best to smother it like a flame that was growing out of control.

The Jedi’s gaze went to the shaking hands, and then back up the clone’s face when he opened his eyes. He despised having to press him, but he had to. “Rex, I must ask you to continue, as quickly as possible. I need to know what happened.”

“…we had him trapped, sir,” Rex said with sudden, heated earnestness. His hands became tight fists atop his helmet, dark brows furrowed. Righteous anger, Obi-Wan sensed, but he couldn’t help how his arms dropped to his belt, where his lightsaber was. Rex, trained as well as he was, noticed this small movement, and he attempted to get himself back under control, taking in a ragged breath through his nose. The anger turned to despair. “We had him in a ray-shield. It was Ahsoka’s idea to lure the half-clanker into a trap. Then—”

Rex’s jaw clamped shut, and his fiery ambers watered. Even Obi-Wan’s breathing became unsteady in the intensity of the other’s anguish.

He wasn’t sure if Rex was able to continue, but the Captain, as strong a fighter as he always was, let out a harsh breath, and seemed to make the next few words come out of his mouth.

“I heard the order, sir.”

Obi-Wan cautiously looked him up and down. There wasn’t much an unarmed clone could do against a Jedi, but he couldn’t take the risk of being discovered. “Yes…the order. I was with Cody when it occurred.”

Rex’s shoulders flinched as a restrained shudder made its way through his chest. “Sir, did you—?”

“No,” Obi-Wan cut in calmly. “He shot me down before I was fully aware of what had taken place.”

The clone’s hands were back to shaking, and he lowered his head, hiding some of his face from Obi-Wan’s view. Obi-Wan tilted his head, studying him intently for a minute. He had to ask the question, even though there was an answer that could result in yet another death. _Something I’ve grown so weary of_.

“You were unaffected.” It came out more of a statement rather than a question, but it served its purpose. Rex lifted his head quickly.

“After that mess with Fives, I—I had that blasted chip taken out.”

Obi-Wan didn’t have a chance to ask for proof, nor did he need to. Lifting a hand, Rex tilted his head forward, and pointed to the peculiar circle of shorter hairs hidden by the surrounding, slightly longer hairs, unnoticeable till it was pointed out. It was right at the spot where Tup and Fives had their operations.

Obi-Wan felt the need to be amused at it all. By the Force, it had been right in front of their faces the entire time, and the Jedi, with all their fabled power and mysticism, had been too blind to see it. He wanted to laugh. _No_ , he thought suddenly, _not laugh. What I want is to cry_.

There was so much more that Obi-Wan wanted to know—needed to know, like if Ahsoka was still alive, what had happened to Darth Maul, how the battle had ended—but a disturbance in the Force shifted his attention, and caused him to fall silent. 

Dark, full of rage.

Anakin.

“We’re here,” Obi-Wan finally said, quietly.

“Where’s here?”

“I’m not sure.” The Jedi shifted so that he could press an ear to the door, concentrating. Footsteps passed by the door, a quick, repetitive noise that then faded fast, like someone walking with a worried haste. Padmé. She was going out to meet Anakin. Could Anakin sense him? Reaching out into the Force, it didn’t seem so. Why?

The absence of their connection—friend, brother, Jedi—created a pang in Obi-Wan’s chest. He could not let his attachment cause him to falter. Not even for…

“ _He’s_ out there, isn’t he?”

When he looked over at the clone, Rex was crouched on the floor, ready to move forward and charge out of the closet to get to his general. His eyes had a fierceness to them, expression one of loyal determination that, for Anakin, would not waver, even during this most desperate time. Obi-Wan laid a hand on the clone’s arm, shaking his head.

“No, Rex. I can’t have you going out there.”

“Why?” Obi-Wan had never heard that tone from him before—defiant. Level, but defiant. “With all due respect, General, if he is out there and alive, then—”

“It is not what you think,” the Jedi snapped. “You don’t know what has happened. This is a dangerous situation, one that I must handle by myself.”

“But sir—!” Rex had begun to raise his voice, desperation coloring it.

“Rex.” Obi-Wan tightened his grip on Rex’s arm. “Can I still trust you?”

Rex blinked, lips parted. It was a low blow, Obi-Wan knew, but the danger was real enough, and he wasn’t certain that he had the strength within him to protect both the clone and Padmé from Anakin’s fury. He had already lost so many to the Dark Side, and that included Cody. _Good man, that Cody. Good man_. Obi-Wan’s jaw clenched. He wouldn’t lose Rex, the last bit of light within the clone army.

“Sir…” Rex implored quietly. His brows were drawn upward, eyes wrought with distress.

“Please, Rex,” Obi-Wan repeated, hushed now, “this is my last order as your superior officer.”

A tremor went through the clone’s body, and Rex turned his face to the side sharply. With an irresolute grunt, he sunk back down onto his knees, shaky hands stiff at the sides of his thighs.

Obi-Wan felt a wan smile tug at the corners of his mouth.

“You were one of our smartest. I couldn’t have asked for a better man to serve with.” Obi-Wan lifted his hand, and instead placed it on the clone’s shoulder in effort to be comforting. Perhaps it was also a good-bye. “Anakin would have said the same, and he did, on many occasions. You were very special to him.”

Rex glanced at Obi-Wan from the corner of his eyes. Obi-Wan offered him a nod before he stood, hand lingering before it finally fell from the Captain’s sooty shoulder. The door swished open, and the Jedi bent down to step out of it. Pausing, he gave Rex one last look. The other finally met his eyes.

 _Hold onto the light_.

“May the Force be with you, Captain Rex.”

Taken aback, Rex could only stare at him, before one hand raised in a sharp salute. There was much confusion and plenty that needed to be told, Obi-Wan knew, but they were finally out of time. With a graceful flick of his wrist, the door slid shut, and Obi-Wan began to make his way down the small hall of the ship, to the blaze that awaited him.

Inside the small closet, Rex slammed his elbow into a control panel on the inside, short-circuiting the wiring. The door opened again, red and blue sparks spiraling into the air like small insects. Grabbing his helmet off of the floor, the clone took a step out, standing tall.

“I’m sorry, sir,” he mumbled to the empty air. He could smell smoke wafting through the star skiff. The ramp must still be down. Whatever planet they were on, it burned just like Mandalore had been—still was, he was sure. He couldn’t think of Mandalore, not now.

Holding his helmet with both hands, he looked down at it, into the dark visor. Rex could almost see his reflection peering back up at him. He quickly looked away, and instead glanced over the blue markings, then the tally marks. They seemed so meaningless now. With a humorless chuckle, he wiped a layer of dirt and grime over them, smudging the tallies till he couldn’t see them. Then, Rex resolutely lifted his helmet, and put it over his head.

“The fight isn’t over yet, General Skywalker.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments & questions are appreciated.


	4. Strain.

Volcanic ash floated through the air in clumps, soaring to the floor of the star skiff as Rex crept noiselessly down the short hall. Each boot-step was mute, but for Rex, the remainder of his body seemed like it was too loud. His breathing echoed through the filter in his helmet. In, and out, in, and out. The all but silent clunk of armor pieces coming into contact seemed like it was reverberating against the ship’s walls.

In, and out.

Each breath felt so heavy, so sluggish.

In, and out.

Without his blasters to grip in either hand, his fingers flexed uselessly, vying for a trigger. He could use something to stop the kriffing shaking. It hadn’t really stopped since Umbara. He badly wanted it to, but no matter how hard he dug his fingers into his palm, they shook. _What a mess_ , came the thought.

In, and out. His throat was dryer than a Tatooine desert. Up ahead, he could see dim, smoky light shining in through lowered ramp. Rex squinted despite his visor.

General Kenobi was standing just short of the entrance, his back to the Captain. Rex came to a quick halt, going as still as he possibly could.

“At what cost?”

Senator Amidala’s voice. She was out there, but with who? The clone sucked in a breath, holding it automatically. His heart beat hard like the repeated firing of a cannon in his ears.

“You’re a good person, don’t do this,” he heard her insisting. Though steady, even Rex could pick up the tremor in her words, and he had never been good with emotions. Definitely not the ones a soldier wasn’t supposed to need.

“I won’t lose you the way I lost my mother.”

General Skywalker.

The breath he was holding came out as a sigh through the helmet’s filter, and he took a small step forward. For the briefest of moments, it felt like everything was going to be alright, as if this was just another battle where, in the heat of it all, he had lost sight of the General, only to have the man unexpectedly beside him, blue lightsaber cutting through the air, taking off the heads of more droids than Rex could keep track of with his eyes. General Skywalker was always alright in the end. He always made it, and Rex would come stand at his side. _It’s what I was born to do, for the Republic, for him_.

Which part of that still existed? Why hadn’t General Kenobi told him more?

“I am becoming more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of.”

Rex felt something wrench itself in the middle of his chest. What…?

A part of him wanted that familiar voice to stop, but it didn’t. “—and I’m doing it for you, to protect you.”

Rex shut his eyes.

“Come away with me.” The senator sounded like she was out of breath as she pleaded. “Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can—”

 _A kid_ , Rex’s mind repeated dazedly, _kid_.

“Don’t you see?” General Skywalker’s had raised his voice, but it just as quickly became full of pride. It reminded Rex of a specific memory, though it seemed distorted now that he tried to think about it. The Jedi’s wide grin, a hurried plan of attack said so fast that the clone didn’t have time to think, only follow, and follow he did, right into the thick of it. “We don’t have to run away anymore. I have brought _peace_ to the Republic. I am more powerful than the Chancellor, I—I can overthrow him! And together, you and I can rule the galaxy—make things the way we want them to be!”

When Rex opened his eyes, General Kenobi was looking at him over his shoulder. He staggered backwards. Kenobi’s face was so kriffing sorry that the Captain’s vision blurred as their gazes met in the white lighting of the star skiff. _More karking tears. You’d think I was a shiny_. They burned on his lids.

In. Out.

The other’s blues regarded him solemnly.

 _Listen, my friend_.

That thought in his head wasn’t his own. “What?”

The Jedi put a finger to his lips, commanding silence.

“I don’t believe what I’m hearing…” Her words were so small that Rex almost didn’t catch them. He felt as if every muscle of his had turned to durasteel. “Obi-Wan was right.” The clone’s eyes shifted sharply to the Jedi, who turned away. “You’ve changed…”

“I don’t want to hear any more about Obi-Wan.”

Something dark and cold made its way down Rex’s spine, causing him to straighten. His skin was wet with sweat again, and it soaked into the fibers of the black bodysuit. A drop of sweat dribbled down his nose. This was General Skywalker?

“The Jedi turned against me—don’t you turn against me.”

_My general?_

“I don’t know you anymore.” Senator Amidala sounded just as close to tears as he was. Kenobi moved without a word to the top of the ramp, hands resting on his hips. Rex knew one of those hands was near his lightsaber, but the realization stunned him still and caused a flare of the need to protect the man out there. “Anakin—you’re breaking my heart! You’re going down a path I can’t follow...”

“Because of Obi-Wan?”

The Captain still couldn’t see what was going on outside, but he didn’t need to in order to know that General Skywalker had spotted General Kenobi. Senator Amidala was becoming frantic, and it made him feel like he was going to throw up. He couldn’t stand hearing her distress.

“Because of what you’ve done! What you plan to do. Stop—stop now, come back—I love you!”

 _My Jedi_.

“ _Liar_!” 

The word boomed with such anger and fury that Rex’s shoulders recoiled, his cracked lips parting. In that moment, Rex couldn’t help but think he should have chosen to die with his brothers instead. Would it have been better than this? Would death had been better than knowing? He couldn’t stay back any longer, no matter any last order. All he had to do was move and breathe.

 _Come on, Rex_! Skywalker had said before tossing him off of a wall. It felt like that now, as if he was getting ready to be lifted over the edge.

He licked his lips, tasting smoke and ash on his tongue. This place and everything that had happened was getting inside of him. He couldn’t give up. Rex stepped forward, letting his boot this time hit the floor of the ship with a thwump. Back during the battle at Arantara, General Skywalker had come back for him. Too many other times to keep count of, he had gone back to rescue him. Save him.

Rex was going back for Skywalker.

_Just tell me to jump, sir._

Rex stepped out onto the ramp.

Mustafar. They were on Mustafar. Lava seeped from every pore on this planet, and it poured like red rivers down the burning slopes that surrounded the facility. A heavy film of smoke blew overhead without a break in sight. The filter in his helmet kept it out of his lungs, not that it mattered after Mandalore. After the order.

Kenobi was making his way down the ramp, and Rex widened his stride to fall in behind him. The Jedi didn’t give him a glance this time, and he knew why. The focus was on General Skywalker, who, with a rustle of dark robes, had rounded the senator. Rex found himself looking at her. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her arms drawn to herself and her belly. _She is pregnant_. It made it all that much more disturbing. He nearly stumbled down the ramp and into General Kenobi as he pulled his gaze away.

“You’re with him!” Skywalker spat, with so much anger that the clone Captain couldn’t match the sound to the mouth it had left. He had never heard such fury come from the man. Not that kind of fury. It wasn’t for good, or for justice. It wasn’t even for a comrade. It was against one. It was dark. “You brought him here to kill me!”

Skywalker’s blazing blue eyes were on General Kenobi, and Kenobi alone, with such contempt that Rex didn’t recognize it either. This was a man wearing the same clothes as him, having the same face, the same mussed hair, the same scar, but the clone didn’t know who it was any longer.

 _Just like my brothers don’t know who they are anymore_.

Those blues hadn’t moved to Rex yet, almost like they were avoiding doing so.

Senator Amidala suddenly clutched her throat, hands pulling at unseen fingers. The choking that sputtered from her lips snapped Rex out of his stupor.

“Let her go, Anakin!” Kenobi called sternly. As a soldier, Rex knew a final warning when he heard one. “Let—her— _go_.”

Genetic coding—training, purpose of existence, a defection, whatever it was called—took hold. Something did. Before Rex was fully aware of what he was doing, the armor of his shoulder had collided with General Kenobi as he bumped past him while he ran down the ramp. _Don't kill him_.

“General!” he breathed, “General Skywalker.”

Skywalker flinched, but didn’t look at him, violent eyes on the senator’s reddening face. The hand that held her throat through the Force didn’t waver.

Rex knew he was being reckless, approaching him like this, but he didn’t slow till he was in front of him. He wasn’t sure why he felt so out of breath. “General, it’s me, Rex.”

There was that sound of a cannon in his ears again. Ba-boom, ba-boom. _Kriff, just look at me_!

“Rex…” Kenobi warned quietly.

“Sir,” Rex rasped, pressure building. _She’s going to get herself killed_! “Sir, don’t—” He lifted one hand, and it hovered in the air for a moment. Would this get him killed? The clone closed eyes, squeezing them shut before making them open. Cautiously, his hand skirted the fabric of Skywalker’s sleeve. His fingers shook. The man’s nostrils were flaring heavily. With a quiver, Rex’s hand landed on the forearm of Skywalker’s raised arm. He grasped it tightly, urgently. Needily.

“…Anakin,” Rex murmured gruffly.

With a sharp gasp, the senator collapsed to the ground. At ease went the strength in the clone’s muscles, breathing out loud enough that he could hear it in the filter. He held Skywalker’s arm tighter. The Jedi jerked his head to glare at him, upper lip lifting in what Rex could guess would be an angry spit, but it never came.

Skywalker’s brow furrowed, confusion coming across his paled features. “Rex?” Then, beaming, “Rex,” he repeated, a weak grin turning up the corners of his lips. The arm Rex gripped fell a bit, then twisted to grab his arm in turn. “You made it. I knew the Chancellor would have to let you live. You’re my best man.”

On another planet, and on any other day, those words would have made Rex smile. Not one of those half-smiles he gave to new brothers that replaced ones before them, gone too soon. For Skywalker, Rex really smiled. For him, he laughed.

Now, for him, Rex felt something mix with the sweat down his cheeks. _At least this bucket hides it_. Skywalker’s unnatural smile become darkening frown.

“Rex, what’s the matter?”

 _Kriff, the Force_.

“Nothing, sir.” His kept his words as steady as he could. “Just good to see you.” _Traitor. Can’t be_. He held onto the man’s arm like his consciousness depended on it. They were inches from each other, legs brushing. Skywalker smelled like brimstone and burnt flesh, even through his helmet. _I can still save him_.

Skywalker’s fingers were a little painful now. “Don’t lie like she did. What has Obi-Wan told you?”

“General—” His arm was burning. The other towered over him, dark and erupting.

“You can’t turn against me! Not you! You are not her!” Skywalker was shaking him, and his armor rattled. “I order you not to! You’re _my clone_ —” Another shake. Rex was finding it difficult to stay upright, but he endured it, gritting his teeth. There was water in the Jedi’s blue eyes.

“Sir—don’t do this—” Rex gasped out. No light, only darkness. _I’m just a clone_.

“Anakin!” Obi-Wan snapped. “Are you going to break him, too?”

Rex looked up to Skywalker’s face. Their eyes met—his through a visor, the other’s raw. They didn’t look blue any longer. What were those emotions? The ones he wasn’t supposed to know of? If he knew them, he could save his general from them.

For a nanosecond, something seemed changed. Skywalker leaned down closer to him, lips grief-stricken.

 _That’s it_ , his thoughts strained, _come back_.

Heartbreak. That was one that the clone knew.

The darkness scorched it before his eyes.

“You turned him against me!” Skywalker roared, and Rex felt the words in the marrow of his bones.

He was flying through the air. Something had thrown him—forced him—back, Skywalker’s arm wrenched from his hand. The General was becoming farther and farther away.

“Gen—!”

Blackness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments & feedback appreciated!


	5. Graceless.

> Mandalore burned.
> 
> If it wasn’t for the filter in his helmet, Rex was certain the space in his lungs would have been filled with the thick smoke that rose as fast-forming clouds above the surrounding fires. The buildings were all but engulfed in flames, and those flames crept in small spits of yellow sparks and red, crumbling embers along the edge of the plaza. The partial wall he and two other troopers crouched behind had turned from blue to black.
> 
> “He almost at the spot?” Jesse, newly painted in the 332nd’s orange colors, hissed edgily from Rex’s right. He was a little too loud for Rex’s liking.
> 
> “Quiet,” the Captain hushed back. Cautiously lifting up on one knee, Rex peered over the scraggly top of the broken wall.
> 
> Maul was rounding Ahsoka like a hungry nexu hunting its next meal. _Close, but not quite_ , he thought tensely. He knew the plan, as did Ahsoka. After all, it had been hers. Maul had to be closer before it was going to work. A lot kriffing closer. Rex’s finger hovered over the button next to his wrist comm that would activate the ray-shield. He trusted that Ahsoka still knew what she was doing. He trusted her no matter what, no matter her rank.
> 
> _They say she’s not a Jedi anymore. Doesn’t matter_.
> 
> Maul was taunting her, that much he could hear over the distant sound of blaster-fire and shouting. Battles still raged around them, but if they could capture Maul, it would all be over. Rex’s brow furrowed as a drop of sweat made its way down the side of his face. More brothers wouldn’t have to give their lives. It was difficult to believe this had ever been a pacifist planet. _I couldn’t figure these people not wanting to fight_ , his mind added distractedly, _made ‘em seem like they had no pride_.
> 
> “How about now?” the trooper to his left, Vesper, whispered. A 332nd shiny. They said he was skilled at night recon. The smoke hadn’t bothered the guy, either. Rex was pretty impressed.
> 
> Amber eyes focused out across the plaza again, on Ahsoka and Maul.
> 
> The Dathomirian suddenly quickened his steps red, double-bladed weapon swinging. Rex sucked in a breath, half-raising, resisting the well-trained compulsion to leap out from behind the wall and fire at that half-droid monster with all he had. His hands, although itching to fall to the two blasters at his side, remained in position. The Captain ground his teeth together.
> 
> “Come on, you piece of rankweed…” he muttered under his breath.
> 
> Maul’s throaty, twisted laughter rang out over the plaza as he bore down on Ahsoka with furious glee, red colliding with green as their lightsabers clashed and buzzed. Rex knew he had to trust that Ahsoka was losing ground on purpose, but Jesse had jerked his weapon upwards a tad, and Vesper’s finger twitched towards the trigger.
> 
> One step backwards was all it took.
> 
> “Now!” Ahsoka shouted. Rex slammed his finger down onto the control button, and as she threw herself clear, the ray-shield burst out around Maul.
> 
> “Take that!” Jesse whooped aggressively. Vesper added his own, “Yeah, lights out for you!” as they both stood, coming out quickly from behind the charred wall.
> 
> Rex breathed out slowly before a slight, lop-sided grin tugged at the corners of his lips.
> 
> “Mission accomplished, General Tano,” Rex began as he approached, giving Maul a long glance. Ahsoka had already picked herself up off of the ground, a smile spreading over her soot-covered face. “Looks like we have him.”
> 
> Maul stood still, yellow eyes seeming as if they might pop out of his head with rage. The air around him felt dark, deadly. Rex had been around enough Sith to not feel as on edge as he used to when their dark Force powers—whatever they were called—seemed to billow out like the smoke around them, but Jesse and Vesper were keeping their distance. Rex couldn’t blame them. It still made something in his head sting.
> 
> “Well, well, well.” Ahsoka came up beside Rex, and they both stood in front of the ray-shield as Maul’s breathing became heavier, angrier. Her even voice had a smidge of satisfaction to it. “Turns out I didn’t need Anakin to capture you.” Her smile widened. “I don’t think you need to worry about my powers.”
> 
> There was a sense of pride as Rex stood straighter, pushing his shoulders back. _Good to have you back, Ahsoka_.
> 
> The Captain’s wrist comm beeped. He took a step backwards and turned away from the ray-shield, lifting his arm. _Probably the rest checking in_ , he figured. They had taken victory over most of the planet. A couple more areas, tops, and then Mandalore would be extinguished. General Kenobi and General Skywalker had probably rescued the Chancellor by now. Rex shook his head slightly in wonderment at the idea before he answered the call. _My general’s worth admiring_.
> 
> He should probably quit referring to the Jedi as his own. It made him feel a little off sometimes, in the bottom of his stomach. Odd. Fives had poked fun endlessly at him for it.
> 
> _Ah, Fives_.
> 
> “Captain Rex here.”
> 
> Static crackled over the communicator. Rex raised a brow. Then, he heard a raspy voice speak.
> 
> “Execute Order Sixty-Six.”
> 
> He heard it twice, at the same time. The voice came both from the comm on his wrist and in his helmet. Blinking, he lowered his arm distractedly. _Order Sixty-Six? Who…?_ It wasn’t familiar. The side of his head throbbed, and he winced, shutting his eyes against the sudden pain as he placed a hand against the top of his helmet.
> 
> “What the—”
> 
> Had the others heard it too? He lifted his gaze. Jesse and Vesper weren’t moving. Something wasn’t right. _No_ , insisted his gut, _something’s wrong_. Something bad.
> 
> “Jesse? Vesper?” Rex called hesitantly. Ba-boom, ba-boom. Heart in his ears.
> 
> “Rex?” The white markings above Ahsoka’s eyes had pinched together as she looked at him over her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
> 
> Jesse and Vesper didn’t respond. Their hands adjusted on their weapons.
> 
> Images of Tup came to mind, and Rex felt everything inside his body drop. It was a weightless and a heavy feeling. There was nothing inside of him, but that nothingness weighed him down. It was just like the nightmares.
> 
> “Jesse!” He was yelling, but he could barely hear himself. “Vesper!” They were raising their weapons, gloved fingers going for the trigger. Ahsoka’s bewildered blue eyes were wide, and she seemed like she was stuck in place. “Troopers! Stand down!” Rex knew he should take out his own blasters, because they were taking aim—taking aim at Ahsoka—and going on as if they couldn’t hear him yelling himself hoarse. He couldn’t get his hands to move, only his legs, and he jerked forward. “I am ordering you—”
> 
> Jesse turned his head toward Rex sharply. “Good soldiers follow orders.”
> 
> He was aiming at Rex now. Shock coursed through him, and he stared at Jesse, lips parted wordlessly. Sweat followed the curve of his upper lip and the hint of stubble there. Every beat of his heart hurt his chest.
> 
> Ahsoka, still stunned, didn’t seem to understand what was happening. _Or doesn’t believe it_ , Rex couldn’t help but think. Was this a nightmare? Her smile was gentle, but fading, her arms raised and hands spread open to show she wasn’t holding a weapon. Unarmed. Vesper still had his blaster pointed at her head. It didn’t lower, not for an instant.
> 
> “Vesper—” she started calmly.
> 
> It was all she had a chance to say.
> 
> Vesper fired. Ahsoka, by some miracle of the Force, Rex knew, ducked the shot. There wasn’t time to think. Vesper fired again, then again, and again, keeping up this rapid-fire assault without pausing.
> 
> Rex sprinted into action, bolting towards her with every bit of strength left in him. _I don’t get it_. The karking nightmares were supposed to have stopped.
> 
> Jesse fired at him. Vesper fired at Ahsoka.
> 
> “Rex!” Ahsoka cried out.

“Ahsoka!”

Rex shot up, winded and gasping for breath. Something fell on his lashes and stuck to them, causing him to lift a hand and rub it away with a grunt. Amber eyes looked down at it, squinting through the spots that came in and out of his vision like small explosions of bright light. Ash. It was ash.

Ash fell from the sky like rain.

Somehow, it reminded him of Kamino. Not that it should.

“Oh, dear…are you quite alright, Captain?”

“Who…?”

Blinking hard cleared the spots. When he looked up, the golden face of C-3PO was angled downwards at him. The gold seemed red from the glow of the lava spilling down around the platform. Sighing, Rex placed his hands on either side of himself, trying to push to stand, but the back of his head pounded, and he sat back down, inhaling sharply with the unexpected pain. Someone—it must have been C-3PO—had taken off his helmet.

“Where’s my helmet?” he mumbled, gingerly feeling the back of his head with his fingers. He grimaced, quickly taking his hand away. It seemed like he had hit his head on the ship’s landing gear hard. Really hard. _Feels like I have a bump the size of a droid popper_. His jet-pack spat sparks from the impact, and he undid its clasps, letting it fall off.

R2-D2 rolled up to him and chirped importantly. When Rex peered around the droid, he could see his helmet had been set on a crumpled robe by the star skiff’s ramp. Was it General Kenobi’s? Skywalker’s robe was darker than that.

Dread gripped him, and despite how his head’s throbbing made the edges of his vision black, he hurriedly pushed himself up. At first, he nearly fell forward, stumbling a couple of steps into the startled protocol droid.

“Well, I say!” admonished C-3PO. Rex panted a groan as he propped himself up against the other. The spots were back, and he shut his eyes. They were making him feel dizzy. _Probably a concussion_ , he wondered numbly, _though Kix would’ve known better_.

Where was General Skywalker?

The bits of ash were spinning around him, but he took a wobbly step backwards, letting go of C-3PO. R2-D2 beeped worriedly at him.

“You’re right, R2, the Captain does not look good,” C-3PO agreed, his typically over-anxious tone moreso than Rex was used to hearing. “I think it’s best if—”

“Where’s Skywalker?” Rex interrupted through gritted teeth. The planet just had to stop turning so karking fast.

For a droid that was so talkative, it felt silent, turning its head to R2-D2. Rex felt like he couldn’t breathe, wetness blurring his already unreliable vision. The smoke was making them burn. With bated breath, his gaze shifted from droid to droid.

“Master Ani…” C-3PO began hesitantly, “has been gone for some time now with Master Kenobi. They have not yet returned.”

Rex could breathe again. Bending over, he rested his hands on his knees. In, and out. Sweat dripped off the tip of his nose.

 _I don’t know what I’d do if he was dead. Not him too_.

“Captain?”

He waved a hand at the droid. “I’m fine.”

“I am glad, sir, but what I meant to say is that R2 and I could use some assistance carrying Mistress Padmé inside.”

Rex quickly straightened—then winced, rubbing his forehead into the base of his palm as he staggered. He had been so focused on Skywalker that he had forgotten about the senator.

She didn’t move when Rex stepped up to her. Getting down on one knee, he lightly took her wrist in his dirty hands, pressing two of his fingers to find her pulse. Was she still alive? She had to be. Skywalker couldn’t have killed her. He wouldn’t do that. He couldn’t…

He has struggling to find it. His fingers moved across her wrist, smearing her white skin with soot. His hands shook again, which in turn made her arm tremor with the shakes that were overtaking them. _Don’t be dead_. He didn’t want to consider the possibility that this hope he was holding onto was pointless. Maybe it was. Maybe there was nothing left of Skywalker to be loyal to. He could be just like Maul. Darkness. Rex knew now what Kenobi hadn’t wanted to tell him. Why wasn’t he out doing what Kenobi had the strength to? Tears budded along his lower lids. Why didn’t he fear him?

Should he?

Something moved against his fingers. He felt for it again. There was a pulse. It was weak enough that Rex almost didn’t feel it, but it was there, and she was alive.

 _She's alive_.

Rex’s shoulders sagged in relief as he sunk down to sit beside her, holding her hand in both of his. Lowering his chin to the scorched armor of his chest, he choked back down the cry that had filled his throat like a bleeding wound. The tears fell, landing on her still fingers. Clearing his throat, he wiped them off, leaving a streak of black.

He didn’t know if there would be time to mourn for it all, but it wasn’t now. Hope. There had to be hope somewhere, somehow.

General Skywalker was somewhere inside that darkness.

“Is Mistress Padmé going to be alright?” C-3PO had hesitantly stepped up behind him. R2-D2 nudged the side of his arm with a distressing series of beeps.

“Yeah,” Rex murmured gruffly. “I’m not a medic, but she isn’t dead yet.”

“That is not very reassuring,” C-3PO huffed, but the Captain pretended not to hear. His eyes shifted to her unconscious face.

C-3PO, after a pause, went on. “I can’t say I quite understand what has happened here. Master Ani has…” The droid stuttered. “Well, what I do know is that you clone troopers shot at Jedi. It was my understanding that you were comrades, not enemies.” R2-D2 chirped curtly. C-3PO scoffed. “It is not a bad question!”

Rex remained quiet. It wasn’t like he had to answer a protocol droid, but he found himself searching for something to say. Anything. Any answer that might make sense if he said it out loud. Not for C-3PO, but for himself. _If only General Skywalker was here_. If only he and Ahsoka hadn’t parted ways. He could use her right now.

If only he wasn’t by himself.

 _I’m not bred for this_.

“That’s wrong,” he said suddenly. C-3PO tilted his head at him.

“I beg your pardon, sir?”

“It was all a lie.” Hardened, glistening amber eyes lifted. The lava and volcanoes were a blur of red and orange. “My brothers and I were the real enemies of the Republic all along.”

It would do for now, to make sense of it all. It wasn’t as if it were untrue.

It wasn’t as if his hands had stopped shaking.

“Captain.”

Rex didn’t look. Couldn’t.

“Master Kenobi, you have returned!” C-3PO exclaimed in relief. “Thank the maker!”

He already knew that General Kenobi had come back without him.

General Kenobi was exhausted, that much Rex could tell. A thin sheen of sweat covered his pale face, and the manner in which he moved reminded him of how grave Kenobi could be after a fight. He didn’t want to think about it. The Jedi bent down beside him. “How is she?”

“Her heart’s still beating, sir,” Rex replied stiffly. He wasn’t sure why he was still holding her hand. General Kenobi didn’t ask why, either, just as Rex didn’t ask why Skywalker’s lightsaber was latched to his belt. His gut twisted apprehensively. The Jedi only nodded, carefully slipping an arm behind her back and under her legs. Slowly, he lifted her. As he did, her hand was pulled gently from Rex’s fingers. He let it go, his hands now unmoving on the top of his thighs’ armor.

“Captain,” Kenobi called softly. “We must get to the ship. She needs medical attention immediately, and I have no doubt that the Sith Lord will come here looking for his apprentice.”

Was there a possibility that he wasn’t dead? Another pair of tears washed down his brown cheeks, and he wiped them away with the side of his gloved thumb.

“…Captain?”

“I suggest you get on it, sir.”

Kenobi’s eyes narrowed, mouth worried beneath his beard. “Rex.” Then, more concerned, “…Rex. Don’t do this. The Chancellor will be coming soon.”

His head was throbbing harder than thunder from a Kamino storm cloud, but the Captain stood up, looking out at the volcanic slopes. “I— _respectfully_ —suggest you leave now.” Rex kept his expression immovable, jaw clenched enough that the muscles protested. Every bit of his training resisted this, but he knew what he had to do. He had known the moment he had left Mandalore.

“Rex…the Anakin we knew is dead,” Kenobi insisted, taking a step towards him. “I know you wish to save him. So did I.” The man’s voice cracked when it lowered, and Rex’s shoulders twinged at the sound of grief in his tone. He turned his face away to hide how his brows drew upward, chin quivering as he let out an unsteady breath. “There’s…nothing left to save. No light in him at all.”

 _I can’t give up on him_. Rex swallowed the taste of smoke. _Not my Jedi. There’s something inside_.

R2-D2 beeped urgently at them, rolling back and forth.

“R2 says his sensors have picked up a shuttle entering this planet’s atmosphere,” C-3PO declared. “I daresay that we ought to be leaving.”

“Rex,” the Jedi implored.

Rex, on legs still unsteady, moved back and picked his helmet off of the the other's robes. He didn’t put it on, but tucked it under one arm. R2-D2 chirped unhappily.

“Sir,” he saluted, clearing his throat.

For a long moment, General Kenobi looked at him. What he was thinking while he did, Rex didn’t know. Was he using the Force? Feeling him out? He wet his lips. The only emotion left to feel was will. The will to do what, the Captain couldn’t be sure of. Finally, Kenobi nodded. Without another word, he strode up the ramp with the senator in his arms. C-3PO hurried after him. R2-D2 stayed back a moment longer, beeping at the clone Captain. Rex let out a worn-out chuckle.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m going back for him.”

R2-D2 beeped hesitantly, then turned, and went up the ramp. With a hum and whoosh of the engines, the star skiff came to life, the ramp retracting and landing gear pulling in. As it lifted and began take-off, Rex brought his helmet close to him, keeping his hold tight. He watched as the silver disappeared upwards into the smoke. It wouldn't be coming back.

“If that Sith Lord is really coming here,” Rex muttered to himself, “I better find a good hiding spot.”

The entrance to the facility seemed like it would serve the need. Rex pressed his back into the smooth wall, peering out around the doorway. For some reason, he felt calm, ready, even though he was weaponless. His eyes glanced down vaguely at his empty holsters. Loyalty had beaten genetic coding. He almost smiled.

 _I’ll be with Skywalker, one way or another. It’s not over yet_.

Rex took a deep breath, hands becoming clenched fists till his nails were pushing crescents into his palms.

At that same moment, an Imperial Shuttle glided overhead, and circled the landing platform.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments & feedback appreciated! beginning information was extracted from _ahsoka_. read it [here](https://www.amazon.com/Star-Wars-Ahsoka-K-Johnston/dp/1484782313/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1554440327&sr=8-1)!

**Author's Note:**

> the motivation for this story was a simple question i had posed to myself for awhile now: what if Rex had been there? i have yet to see any of rebels, but i've done my best to educate myself through some online reading material and buying the ahsoka book. 
> 
> comments & questions are always, always appreciated.


End file.
